


Beautiful Trauma - A McHanzo Fanfiction

by Sadistic_Sketching



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Beautiful, Bottom Hanzo Shimada, Character Death, Cowboy Hats, Cute, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hanzo Shimada is a Little Shit, I don't know what I'm doing, Jesse McCree & Genji Shimada Are Best Friends, M/M, McHanzo - Freeform, Overwatch Family, Post-Fall of Overwatch, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Power Bottom Hanzo Shimada, Protective Genji Shimada, Public Masturbation, Smoking, Suicide, Sweet Jesse McCree, Top Jesse McCree, Tsundere Hanzo Shimada, Tsunderes, Yakuza Hanzo Shimada
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2021-01-23 17:36:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 9,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21324046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sadistic_Sketching/pseuds/Sadistic_Sketching
Summary: This is loosely based off of the song "Beautiful Trauma" by P!nk, since I think this song is so perfect for Jesse and Hanzo's relationship.
Relationships: Jesse McCree & Hanzo Shimada, Jesse McCree/Hanzo Shimada
Comments: 1
Kudos: 45





	1. The Story

**Author's Note:**

> [COMPLETED]
> 
> WARNING: Strong language and inappropriate content (NSFW). This is gonna be gay. So there will be some gay stuff. You have been warned.
> 
> Also, the parts are short. Just FYI.

Jesse McCree overlooked the sunset with his dark eyes, whistling softly at its beauty. The world may be in ruin, but there were still things of beauty that called out for attention. The sunset in this mysterious town of Hanamura was one of those things. He leaned against the wall of the temple and exhaled softly, lighting a cigar. The day's work had him worn out; the cowboy wasn't as young as he used to be in his Blackwatch days. Just as his peripheral vision caught the sight of an arrow buried into the floor of the temple, he heard his comrade Ana Amari call his name. Distracted by her call, he completely forgot the arrow as he moved to regroup with the rest of the team. 

Later that night, over dinner, McCree called out to the group gathered, "So what happened at that temple place we were at?"

Ana raises a silver eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

He glances up from his plate, looking around at all the eyes on him. "Uh...I saw an arrow in the ground. Pretty sure I saw a few others scattered 'round. Just looked like somethin' happened, so 'thought I'd ask." He gave a light shrug, feeling as if maybe it would've been best if he'd never brought it up.

Genji had been silent the entire time, but now spoke up in a hush of a voice. "Something did happen there."

The rest of the table fell silent, but the cowboy looked around again, still completely lost. His team wore solemn expressions; they all seemed to know something only McCree didn't know, and it was starting to irritate him. He let out a soft sigh. "Well, you gonna tell me or just leave me outta everythin'?"

Genji clenched his fists tightly, trying to remain level-headed. "I....fought my brother there. It...was my old home."

McCree sat in silence, waiting for Genji to continue. Ana placed a careful hand on Genji's arm. "You do not have to tell-"

"No. I am sorry, ma'am, but he asked. He deserves to know. So I shall tell him." With a soft inhale, he continued. "My brother Hanzo and I were part of a clan of assassins, known as the Shimadas. After our father's death, my brother was ready to inherit his legacy, but I refused. In return, seeing it as his duty to our family, Hanzo attempted to kill me, and nearly succeeded. I made a narrow escape, but the pain of his act made Hanzo reject our clan, everything he believed in."

McCree's eyes widen slightly as he lets out a soft whistle. "Damn....that's rough, Genj."

Genji let out a heart-heavy sigh before rising from the table. "I must excuse myself....Apologies." The cyborg then swiftly left the room, leaving the group silent as they finished their meals.

After the solemn meal, McCree retreated to his room, plopping onto his bed with a soft grunt. He folded his arms behind his head and stared at the ceiling. Questions raced in his mind about Genji's elder brother, Hanzo. "Man'd kill his own brother just to maintain order?" He sighed. "Just don't seem right to me.....Man like that shouldn't be around." He slipped his hat off and undid his belt, getting ready for bed. 

Jesse had never met this elder Shimada brother, but there was one thing the cowboy knew for sure: He never wanted to meet him.


	2. The Encounter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AUthor's Note: Sorry the last part was so short and a little boring, I was basically just trying to open up the story! The next parts should be a bit more lively! I hope you guys like it so far!

McCree woke up from a long night of restless sleep, groaning as he sat up in bed. His sore muscles all screamed out at once, making him wince at their stiffness. He ran a hand over his bare, hairy chest, sighing. The cowboy stumbled from his bed and into his personal bathroom, where he splashed water into his face, trying to get the sleep out of his eyes. 

Letting out another sigh, he rubbed at his left shoulder where flesh met metal, then murmured to himself, "Maybe it's time for a tune-up....Ol' arm's gettin' stiff...." He ran his hands through his messy, dirty brunette hair and hunted on the ground for his pants. His eyes flick towards his alarm clock. "Damn, I woke up early....Only 'bout 5 in the mornin'?" He groaned as he tossed a shirt on. "Well, not like I'll be sleepin' anymore." 

Once he finished getting dressed, the scruffy man made his way to his door, then carefully peeked out into the hallway. He sneaked back into his room to grab his Peacekeeper and slid it into the holster on his belt, flashing a quick, confident smile to his "BAMF" buckle, then silently stepped into the hallway, placing his trademark hat upon his head. He crept slowly, struggling to remain quiet with the spurs on his boots so he didn't wake anyone up, then after what felt like an eternity, he made his way to the front door and left. 

Now outside in the crisp morning air, Jesse McCree inhaled the fresh scent on the breeze from the cherry blossom trees that surrounded their temporary base of operations, then smiled contentedly to himself. He walked down the street, keeping to back alleys and side roads so the tall American didn't draw unnecessary attention to himself, then finally stood at the gates of the Shimada temple. His eyes survey the grounds, and when he's sure there are no guards around, he sneaks in through the side.

Once inside, he looks at the ornate furnishings and decor of the temple, whistling softly in awe. "Really pretty place....Relaxin', too...." He moves around slowly, taking in the majesty of it all. He knew a man like him was entirely out of place in such a beautiful location, but he didn't really care much. When did McCree ever REALLY care about anything?

His fingers brush up against one of the arrows in the ground, and he crouches down to survey it closer. "Hanzo, huh....? Must have a real short temper...." He pulls out the arrow, then looks it over in his hands. "Huh. Pretty heavy. Could do a lot of damage." He gently sets it back on the ground, then raises with a soft exhale. "Feel like I'm missin' a part of the story, here....Why would a man try to kill his own flesh and blood....?" 

At that moment, images began to flash in his eyes, memories of his past as an outlaw. He exhaled heavily, shaking his head. "Damn......Guess I shouldn't be one to judge....." He rubs his temple, feeling the beginnings of a migraine. He lets out a heavy sigh. "Why did I even come back here....?" 

He turned to leave, then got an uneasy feeling deep in the pit of his stomach. He froze in place, trying to figure out what the feeling was. Then, he understood. He wasn't alone in the temple. A guard must've seen him enter...He was gonna get arrested for sure. He holds his hands up, then calls out to the still temple. "Alright. You got me. I was trespassin'...." When he received no response, he began to get slightly afraid. A guard or police officer would come over and cuff him, there'd be no stealth behind it. From what he could tell, the person who was there was staring at him, not moving. His eyes flick down towards his revolver, contemplating. This must be an assassin sent to kill him. He exhaled softly. This might be the end of Jesse McCree, but he wasn't about to go down without a fight.

He closed his eyes, exhaling softly, then in a flash grabs his Peacekeeper and fires behind him, right as an arrow grazes his temple. He froze in shock and fear, eyes wide. He had missed his target. That's when his eyes fell onto a figure in the shadows, slowly rising. Then, the figure spoke in a deep voice, laced with a heavy accent.

"Why are you here, cowboy?"


	3. The Rise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: This one is a real short chapter. I'll make up for it.

The cowboy raises an eyebrow at the mysterious figure. "Who the hell 're you?"

The figure steps from the shadows and into the rising sunlight, revealing his features. He was a shorter man but was muscular. Dark hair that silvers at the edges is pulled back into a bun with a beautiful sash, and amber eyes stare out at the cowboy. He wears a blue kimono that's pulled back from his left arm, showing off rippling muscles tattooed with an intricate dragon design. McCree looks the man over and can't help but smile. This stranger was kinda cute. 

The mystery man catches the smile and frowns. "What is so funny?"

Jesse chuckles, scratching the back of his head. He'd never met a man so serious....Even Reyes could be light-hearted at times, though it had been pretty rare. He looks the man over again, and ignores his question. "You Hanzo?"

A small look of shock comes to his face. How did this strange man know who he was? Unless.... He lets out a soft chuckle. "I would assume you are an assassin sent to kill me, but I have never seen a man look more ridiculous and unprofessional." 

McCree's smile fades and he frowns, offended. "I could say the same fer you, Hanzo."

The eldest Shimada brother shows his growing frustration. "Tell me how you know my name, cowboy, and your death may be quick."

McCree rolls his eyes, exhaling a light chuckle. This man was pushing him in all the right buttons. He tightens his grip on the Peacemaker in his hand, readying his finger on the trigger. "Listen, Sunshine, let's just....Put this whole trespassin' thing behind us. I forget I saw you and you forget you saw me. Deal?" He knew better than to approach the unstable man; he did kill his brother. Jesse might not have looked like it, but he was a bit smarter than most assumed he was at first glance. He eyes the man cautiously, reading every one of his slightest movements so he'd be ready to defend.

A sneer came to Hanzo's face. "'Sunshine'? What kind of stupid name is that?"

"Me just tryin' to play nice, darlin'." Jesse smirked at him, his lit cigar dangling loosely between his unshaven lips. Now, McCree was just trying to get a rise out of him.

Hanzo shook his head. "Do not call me such things....I will not let some pathetic gunslinger act so informal towards me."

Now was Jesse's chance. "I ain't so pathetic to kill my own flesh and blood."


	4. The Fight

Hanzo let out a deep snarl of rage, instantly drawing his bow, arrow aimed right at the cowboy's head. Jesse knew he was in for it now and he quickly ducked behind a pedestal right as an arrow hit where he had been standing. McCree held his Peacemaker to his chest, letting out a soft chuckle. This morning was gonna be quite interesting. Rolling out from behind his cover, he fired a single bullet, hitting the archer in his bare left shoulder. Hanzo winced, pulling back slightly, but shook it off and readied another arrow. Just as he was about to fire, the cowboy threw a flashbomb at the Shimada, making him drop his bow in confusion.

When Hanzo regained his vision, his trained eyes scanned the temple, yet he saw no traces of the strange man who intruded. He carefully lifted up his bow, eyes darting all around, and he called out to the still morning.

"Whoever you are, you will not escape here alive."

McCree couldn't help but let out a loud laugh at his threat. "Y'know, you can just call me Jesse!"

Hanzo smirked self-righteously to himself. Now he knew his attacker's name...Well, a first name, at least. He slowly stepped towards where the voice had come from, arrow drawn back and ready. He quickly whipped around the corner, just to come face to face with the barrel of a gun. He had no choice but to freeze, glaring at the smirking cowboy.

"Now, I'm thinkin' you come with me, darlin'....~"

Hanzo narrowed his eyes. "And why would I do that?"

McCree let out a smooth, deep chuckle. "'Cause I got yer brother...."

Anger flickered in the archer's eyes yet again and he struck the smug cowboy with his bow and climbed on top of him, McCree's gun spinning out of reach. Hanzo redrew his arrow and pressed the tip right between Jesse's eyes.

"What have you done to my brother...?!"

It took McCree a moment, then he let out a nervous chuckle. "Oh, Sunshine, I don't mean I got him captive - !"

"STILL YOUR FOOLISH TONGUE BEFORE I CUT IT OUT!" 

Jesse mumbled softly, "You asked....-" 

Hanzo added a little bit more pressure, the tip of his arrow drawing a bit of blood from his forehead. The cowboy winced softly, holding his hands up defensively. A moment of silence stretched between the pair. Hanzo contemplated shooting the foolish American now or possibly using certain measures to find out about his brother. Finally, McCree broke the silence with a soft exhale.

"Look, I ain't a kidnapper. I work with yer brother-"

"LIES! Genji would not be so foolish to work with the likes of you..."

Ignoring the insult, Jesse continued. "He probably wants to see you, Hanzo....He talks about you all the time...." 

Hanzo wavers a bit. "You are lying...."

McCree huffs heavily in frustration. "My god, man, just listen to me, dammit! I ain't lyin'!"

Hanzo narrows his eyes in distrust. "All you say is lies.....Prepare to die, 'Jesse'...." Just as Hanzo pulled back his arrow a bit further and was about to release, a voice calling out from the shadows of the rising sun stopped him.

"That is enough, brother...."


	5. The Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: This one's a little bit longer!

Hanzo looked up from his prey at the cyborg, amber eyes widening in shock and confusion. His brother was standing before him yet again, yet the assassin still felt nearly the same amount of shock as he did their first encounter. The cyborg slowly approached, his gaze unwavering from his frozen brother and the helpless cowboy beneath him. 

"He is not here to hurt you, Anija.....He spoke the truth. I work alongside him, and many others who strive to change the world for the better."

Hanzo struggled to find his words. "Genji....but....why? This man-"

"-Is a kind man who was willing to come here to try and learn more about you and I."

The assassin relaxed, pulling the bow away from McCree's face. "If...what you say is true, then..."

The cyborg held out his hand. "Join us, brother. You will not regret it."

McCree struggled to his feet, dusting himself off and placing his hat back on his head as he looked between the two brothers. Finally, Hanzo spoke.

"I....will think about it."

Genji's tone grew light-hearted. "Thank you, brother! This means so much....I know you will make the right choice!"

Hanzo mumbled softly to himself. He didn't have the guts to tell his brother flat out that he was not going to join his pathetic vendetta club. Pondering it over a second time, however, it would give him the chance to reconnect with his brother....No. He was not gonna be dragged into his younger brother's silly schemes. He tucked his bow behind him and looked to the cowboy.

"I apologize for not believing you." He gave a slight bow of his head.

Jesse raised a dark brow. "And...?"

Hanzo let out a deep growl. "I will not be treated like a child by the likes of you, cowboy-"

"Anija." Genji intervened sternly. "He deserves your apology. You attacked him and nearly killed him." 

Hanzo groaned and crossed his arms. He was pushed into a corner with no way out. "Fine. I also apologize for attacking and nearly killing you."

The cowboy gave Hanzo a playful smirk. "Aaaaand...?"

"And for mocking your utterly ridiculous-"

"Anija."

The elder Shimada let out a heavy sigh. "-Your.....interesting clothing and mannerisms."

Jesse let out a deep, smooth chuckle, and Hanzo couldn't help but tremble at the sound. Something about the foolish American's voice and overall appearance.....it got to Hanzo. The sound rumbled in the cowboy's throat, coming out rough as coarse desert sand yet somehow smooth as melted chocolate all at once. The assassin felt a light burn in his cheeks and he looked to the side to try and conceal it, clearing his throat. Jesse wrapped an arm around his shoulder. 

"So, the big bad Hanzo DOES show some emotions.~"

At the cowboy's mocking tone, Hanzo delivered an elbow to his gut, making McCree grunt and release him. The ghost of a smirk came to Hanzo's lips. 

Messing with McCree was going to be so much fun.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Somehow, Hanzo had allowed his younger brother talk him into staying at the Overwatch base until he had made his decision on whether or not he was going to join, so the assassin found himself standing outside of the base's doors, marveling at the surprising greatness of the structure. It was much bigger than he had imagined it would be....Hanzo hadn't paid much attention to the group when it was around 7 years before; he had his own issues to deal with. He never knew how big of an influence they apparently had, and he felt a slight twinge of guilt for doubting his brother in the beginning.

The trio walked into the building, and even though Hanzo wouldn't like to admit it, he stood close behind the other two. Most likely, everyone in this base knew what Hanzo had done to Genji, and he didn't want to know how they would treat him if he wasn't under the supervision of his brother or the cowboy. Genji quickly crept into the hallway and faced the other two.

"McCree....You know Angela is always checking up on me and my cybernetic body, yes?"

The American rose an eyebrow, but nodded. "Yes...?"

Genji continued. "I do not think I am really supposed to have...you know...Hanzo here....without permission...."

"YOU BROUGHT HIM HERE WITHOUT ASKING FOR-?!" 

The cyborg hurriedly shushed McCree, his tone pleading. "Please, I know that they would force him to go through many evaluations before they let him in if I had asked, so I just...I need you to keep him in your room until he decides!"

Jesse let out a heavy huff. "So yer askin' me to keep the man who nearly murdered me fer no reason in my own personal bedroom where I sleep fer an undetermined amount of time?"

Genji sighed. "Please, Jesse. This would mean so much to me...For a friend, will you please do this favor?"

McCree let out another heavy groan, pacing down the hallway a bit as he pondered. Hanzo watched, eyes darting between the two as the determined his fate.

The cowboy finally sighed. "Alright, fine....Two weeks tops. Alright? If he ain't made a decision by then, too bad. He ain't gonna be in my room no more. Got it?"

Genji nodded eagerly, bouncing a bit in joy. "Thank you so much, Jesse!"

McCree turned to Hanzo. "And you. Any funny business, yer out on yer ass. Got me, darlin'~?" He ended with a small, flirtatious smirk that made Hanzo look away with flushed cheeks.

"Fine....cowboy."


	6. The Conflict

Hanzo had been staying in Jesse's room for about a week. There was a lot of awkward silence between the two men. Anytime Jesse would make an attempt at conversation, Hanzo would just scowl and find a way to insult him. It was really starting to piss the cowboy off. Finally, he decided to confront the man about it.

"Y'know, your attitude needs a real adjustment, Shimada."

Hanzo glanced up at Jesse for a moment before closing his eyes, going back to meditating.

The cowboy let out an annoyed huff. "And y'can't ignore me neither. If you're gonna be stayin' here, you gotta show me some respect."

The archer let out an indignant snort. "Why are you deserving of my respect? You're a ridiculous man."

"Who is allowin' you to stay in his room after you nearly killed him!"

Hanzo fell silent again.

Jesse groaned in frustration before making his way towards the door. "Y'know what? I'm fuckin' done with your uptight bullshit. I'm tellin' Genj that I can't do this no more."

Realizing the situation and that the cowboy was serious, Hanzo rose from the floor, a slight look of desperation on his face. "J-Jesse, wait!"

McCree turned, raising an eyebrow. 

Hanzo stuttered a bit before clearing his throat, retaining his calm demeanor. "McCree-san, I mean....I just....have been through a lot this past week and I have been unfairly taking it out on you, and....I apologize."

Jesse leaned against the door, arms crossed. "Oh, so you're apologizin'? Ain't that sweet?~"

The archer let out a soft snarl of agitation. "Do not mock me, cowboy."

McCree gave a shrug before plopping onto the bed, kicking off his boots. "I get the bed tonight. The floor's been makin' me stiff and it's real uncomfortable to be sleepin' there for a whole week."

Hanzo let out a scoff, glaring at him. "I'll have you know that since I am your guest, I should have the bed for as long as I like."

"You ain't a guest, Mr. Shimada. You don't gotta be in here if you don't like it.~" The cowboy crossed his arms behind his head, getting comfy on the bed as he closed his eyes.

The archer rose to his feet quickly, a raging glare in his eyes. "I am the eldest son of Sojiro Shimada, head of the Shimada clan."

Jesse let out a smooth chuckle, opening one eye. "So?~"

Hanzo let out a growl of frustration and shoved the cowboy from the bed. "I COULD HAVE YOU KILLED INSTANTLY!"

Instantly pissed, McCree rose from the floor with a glare. "I bet that ain't true...."

"Do you doubt me, McCree?" Hanzo stood so he was toe-to-toe with the man, staring up at him.

"Yeah, I do. How could you have me killed by your family's men when they've turned their backs on you for what you did?~" Jesse gave the smaller man a mischevious smirk.

"Still your tongue...."

"Why don't you try and make me, Mr. Shimada...?"

Hanzo continued to glare up at him, narrowing his eyes before turning away, crossing his arms. "You are not worth the time."

The cowboy relaxed his stance and sighed, pulling his boots on again. "Whatever...I'm goin' out. You know the drill: don't leave, don't let no one in." He grabbed his serape and left the room, slamming the door behind him.

Hanzo let out a shaky exhale, sitting on the bed. His heart hammered in his chest and his face burned a light pink. He slowly pushed his hands through his hair, then let his head hang. "What is wrong with me...?" He had only known this man for a week...He thought he hated the ridiculous cowboy, but there was something....wild about him that drove the assassin crazy.

A few hours later, Jesse returned to the room with takeout bags in either hand. When he walked in, Hanzo was curled up on the bed, sleeping with a soft snore. McCree let out a soft chuckle as he set the food down on the bedside table as he approached the bed. He gently set his metal hand on Hanzo's leg, careful not to scare him, and cooed his name softly.

"Hanzo.....Darlin', time to wake up....I brought you some food...."

The archer let out a sleepy groan, blinking slowly at the cowboy as he let out a loud yawn and stretched on the bed. He ran a hand through his messy hair, then let out a nervous murmur. "I'm such a mess right now...."

Jesse chuckled softly as he rose. "You look fine, Mr. Shimada. I brought some takeout....I didn't know what you liked, so I grabbed a lil' bit of everythin'...." 

Hanzo sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes. "Why are you being so kind to me after earlier....?"

McCree gave a light shrug as he sat at the end of the bed and began to pull out the food. "I guess it's my way of apologizin' for how I was actin'....I wasn't givin' you the respect you deserve, Mr. Shimada...."

"Hanzo..."

Jesse glanced up at the archer, a look of confusion in his chestnut eyes.

Hanzo quickly glanced to the side to hide his blush at how the man was looking at him. "You may call me Hanzo...But only when we are alone....."

McCree leaned in a little closer as he handed Hanzo some chopsticks. "You warmin' up to me?~" When Hanzo glared at him, Jesse let out a soft chuckle. "I'm jus' playin'....You can call me Jesse....~"

The archer gave a light nod. "Jesse it is...." He took a bite of the food, then his nose scrunched up a bit. "This tastes like shit. It is nothing compared to the real thing...."

Jesse laughed, pushing a hand through his messy brown hair. "It's food, ain't it?"

Hanzo began to blush more as he shot the cowboy a sideways glance. "You're right....And....thank you for the food....Jesse..."

"It ain't a problem, darlin'....~"


	7. Close

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Slight NSFW

Something was seriously wrong with Hanzo. He couldn't get that ridiculous cowboy out of his head. Anytime he saw him, his heart fluttered in his chest. Anytime the archer heard Jesse's voice, a shiver ran down his spine. McCree was in the shower right now, getting ready for their mission, and Hanzo had to desperately push his impure thoughts about the cowboy out of his head as he tried his hardest to focus on his meditation.

Finally, Jesse stepped from the bathroom with only a towel draped loosely around his hips. Damn you, Jesse... Hanzo thought to himself. The man was quite attractive...Would it be so wrong if him and Hanzo - ? No. He needed to get the thought out of his head.

Hanzo gave the cowboy a sideways glance. "How was your shower, Jesse?"

Jesse let out a soft whistle as he walked to the closet and started grabbing a change of clothes. "Pretty good, helped me relax. Maybe you should try it, darlin', loosen up a bit..~" 

Hanzo sputtered as his eyes widened and he looked away, trying to hide his blush in agitation. "I am perfectly relaxed!"

Jesse tossed the towel onto the bed and started to pull on his jeans. "You sure 'bout that, honeysuckle?~"

The archer's breath hitched ever so softly. Hanzo loved the ridiculous names Jesse was always giving him. "I-I am plenty sure...And do not call me such stupid things..."

Jesse rolled his eyes as he smirked to himself, pulling on a button-up shirt. "You're too cute sometimes....~"

Hanzo crossed his arms over his chest as he lets out an annoyed huff. "I am not cute, McCree...."

"Remember what we agreed on?~ Call me Jesse when it's jus' you and me...~" He slowly buttoned up his shirt as his chestnut eyes wander over to the other man.

Hanzo looked up at the cowboy with a slight pout, dark brows furrowed above his eyes. "I'm sorry, Jesse..." 

Jesse chuckles deeply as he places his hat on his head. "Darlin', get saddled up. We got a nice mission for us today. Jus' a lil' reconnaissance mission up in Ayutthaya...Nothin' big..~"

The archer's eyes widen a bit as he frowns at Jesse. "You could not tell me this sooner...?" 

The cowboy chuckles and pats Hanzo's back as he pulls on his belts and chest armor. "My bad. You got me a lil' distracted.~" 

Hanzo stutters out softly, "I-I have to get ready, Jesse..." 

"Well get ready. We'll be waitin' for ya on the plane.~" McCree smirks down at Hanzo, winking at him before making his way out the door, his spurs hitting the hard floor with each step.

Hanzo lets out the breath he didn't know he was holding and rises to his feet, and starts to get ready.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

An hour later, Hanzo was in a plane heading towards Thailand with Jesse, his brother, and a few others he didn't recognize. He sits incredibly close to McCree, close enough to smell his cheap aftershave and cologne. On anyone else, Hanzo would have found the musk repulsive and he wouldn't be able to be anywhere close to the person wearing it. But on Jesse....it fit him. It fit so well that it smelled....good. Hanzo hadn't noticed that he had been leaning a bit closer to Jesse to inhale more of the strong scent until he heard the cowboy clear his throat.

"Gettin' a bit sleepy, are ya, darlin'?" 

Hanzo instantly bolts upright in his seat, face burning in embarrassment as he glances over at Jesse, surprised to see a gentle smile on the cowboy's face rather than a smug grin. Now that he had mentioned it, however, Hanzo hadn't slept very well the previous night. Sleeping on McCree's floor was incredibly uncomfortable, and even though it had been a few weeks, he still wasn't accustomed to it. He gives a light nod, pushing a hand through his dark bangs. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to intrude on your personal space, McCree..." 

Jesse chuckles lightheartedly and gives a light shrug. "I don't mind, Han....If you wanna, you can sleep on my shoulder...I'll wake ya up when we get there, alright?" 

McCree's genuine, welcoming smile and deep brown eyes draws Hanzo in and he gives a light nod, scooting a bit closer and resting his head on the cowboy's shoulder. Even though the position was incredibly more comfortable, Hanzo's heart raced in his chest. From being covered in Jesse's scent to his kind expression to their thighs gently touching now from being so close, Hanzo's mind was racing. 

Jesse looks down at Hanzo with a small smile, his eyes admiring as he looks at the tired assassin. He was definitely warming up to the cowboy, and it made McCree insanely happy to know it. Something about the sharp-tongue man drove Jesse crazy like no other, and he wasn't about to let him go anytime soon. He watched until he was sure the archer was asleep, then began gaze outside the window at the passing land.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Hanzo awoke with a start, looking to Jesse with wide eyes and a flushed face. The cowboy had just begun to drift to sleep, but pushes his hat from his eyes when he feels the sudden movement from his companion and raises an eyebrow. 

"Somethin' wrong, darlin'...?" 

Hanzo stared up at the cowboy, remembering where he was and instantly looking down in his lap. While he had slept, Hanzo dreamed about Jesse. For the past few nights, to be honest, McCree was all that was in his dreams. But this one was different. He cursed himself under his breath for the lewd images that had flashed in his head during his nap about the cowboy beside him. He parted his lips, about to come up with some excuse for his strange behavior, when he noticed the bulge in his pants. He instantly bolted up from his seat and made his way to the bathroom, thanking kami that no one was in there, and shut the door behind him, locking it. 

Hanzo breathed heavily as he leaned against the wall, emotions crashing inside of him, conflicting. He sat on the counter, trying to calm himself down when he heard a gentle knock on the door, and McCree's voice calling through.

"Hanzo, you okay...?" 

Hearing the cowboy's voice drove Hanzo wild. His hand slipped between his thighs, lightly palming himself through the fabric of his pants as he hung his head, breathing harder. "I-I'm okay....Just got a little a-air sick, I'll be fine, Jesse..." 

There was a moment of hesitation before McCree spoke again. "I jus' wanna make sure you're okay...You woke with such a start, got me all worried..." 

Hanzo begged for Jesse to keep talking so he could hear that deep, rumbling voice of his more, but another part of him begged for him to just go and sit back down so the archer could compose himself. He rubbed himself through his pants faster, gnawing at his lips to bite back a low groan. "I-I'm fine, Jesse, I'll get over it..." 

Jesse clears his throat and steps from the door. "Alright....Gimme a holler if you need anythin'..." 

Hanzo listened to McCree's receding footsteps before reaching into his pants and sinking to the floor, tossing his head back against the wall as he pleasured himself. He just couldn't get those nasty thoughts about the cowboy out of his head; Hanzo's mind was just reeling from the things he wanted McCree to do to him. He frees his length from the restricting fabric and pumps himself quickly, pushing his other hand to the back of his mouth as he moaned breathlessly. Hanzo had never felt this way about anyone before, let alone another man. Something about the wild, unkempt man made Hanzo crave so much from him. Just being near him made his heart skip a beat, but being so close to him earlier was it. The archer let out a string of soft whimpers and whines of the cowboy's name, eyelids fluttering and lips parted as he began to pump himself sloppily. A few more quick pumps and Hanzo came undone in his hand, slumping against the floor a sweaty mess. After he regained his breath, he rose up on shaky legs and rinsed his hand off, then washed his face to try and make himself look as composed as usual. He adjusted his pants and hair, trying to push out any more lingering thoughts about Jesse before he stepped back into the room and sat back down beside him, face still flushed and heart still racing.


	8. The Attack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: Strong language, blood/violence

As they stepped off the plane, Hanzo stayed close to Jesse, his bow slung behind his back over his quiver.

"So, what exactly are we doing here, McCree?"

Jesse chuckles smoothly, walking beside him as he looks around at their surroundings. "Just lookin' into somethin'. Got some intel that Talon might be workin' here, or at least plannin' on to. So you and I are gonna take a look around."

Hanzo frowns as his eyes stay ahead of him, pondering to himself. Now that it was just him and Jesse, would it be a good time to admit how he felt to the cowboy? He audibly sighs. Holding in these feelings was going to be the death of him, but he was worried about being rejected. What if McCree flirted with everyone?

As he thinks, he feels an arm against his chest, and Hanzo lets out a gasp of surprise before glaring at Jesse. "Excuse me, what do you think you're-"

Jesse holds his metal finger to his lips, his chestnut eyes scanning the surrounding area carefully. He pulls his arm back from Hanzo, his hand slowly sliding down to where his pistol was. "We ain't alone here...."

Now that Jesse mentioned it, Hanzo felt eyes on him. He draws his bow, grabbing an arrow as well and looking around. Right as he was about to suggest something, a figure appears out of nowhere, aiming a submachine gun at the men and firing. The spray of bullets barely misses them, and Jesse growls as he draws his pistol.

"Dammit! This was a fuckin' trap!" McCree fires off a few shots, missing as the small figure moves quickly to dodge the bullets.

"Come on, is that all you got, Jesse?" Her lips twitch into a smirk as she shoots once again, her purple eyes shining with excitement.

McCree shoves Hanzo out of the way, saving him from the assail of shots. "Hanzo, pay attention!!"

Hanzo snarls at him, firing his bow and catching the girl on her leg. She stumbles and winces, her eyes going wide before she skids to a stop and begins running back the direction she came from.

"Han, don't let her leave! We could bring her back to base!"

"Shut it, I'm on it!" Hanzo sprints after her, another arrow ready in his bow. He follows the speckles of blood on the ground, gradually slowing as the trail disappears, but he sees no sign of the woman anywhere. His head snaps around in all directions, but Jesse sees a flash of movement behind him, and he calls out to the archer.

"Sunshine, look out-!"

A gunshot cuts through the air, echoing. Time seemed to slow as Hanzo whipped his head around to see the woman reappear behind him, but his eyes don't stay on her. They go to Jesse, who frowns and looks down at the blood blossoming from his own stomach.

"T-the hell...?" Jesse looks up at Hanzo for a moment before taking a small, stumbling step forward and crashing to the ground limply.

Hanzo's heart froze. Seeing Jesse face-down in his own blood; the eldest Shimada feels a stinging in the corners of his eyes. "JESSE!!" His elbow connects with the hacker's gut, making her grunt and drop her gun. He hooks his bow around her throat, choking her. Her fingers desperately scratch at its surface, her chest heaving as she tries to breathe.

"A-Amelie!!"

Hanzo roars with anger as he whirls around, his eyes landing on the sniper who shot Jesse. His Jesse. His bow still wrapped around the woman's throat, he shoots the arrow that was already loaded in her direction. Amelie hops back a bit to narrowly avoid the arrow, her blue face twisting up into a scowl.

"Sombra, retreat!!"

Sombra finally struggles free from Hanzo, gasping and holding her throat before concealing herself from sight, right as Amelie runs off and disappears as well. Hanzo drops his bow and sprints to Jesse's side, rolling him onto his back and holding the cowboy's head in his lap.

"You idiot!! How did you not see her?!"

Jesse chuckles weakly before falling into a coughing fit, a single trail of blood trickling from his unshaven lips. "Whoops....A-at least you're okay...."

Hanzo quickly calls for an extraction, then glares down at McCree. "Don't say that!! Idiot!"

The sound of the extraction plane couldn't have come soon enough. McCree is helped onto the plane, and Hanzo follows close behind, a dark feeling settling in his gut.


	9. The Visit

Hanzo waited outside of the med bay, his foot tapping rapidly as he folds his hands in his lap, his fear evident on his face. It had been hours since they returned with Jesse, and Angela was working nonstop to save him. Hanzo is startled when a voice nearby breaks the tense silence.

"Jesse is strong, brother....He'll pull through...."

Hanzo scoffs, forcing his foot to stop tapping as he glares off to the side. "You act as if I'm worried about that ridiculous cowboy."

Genji sits beside Hanzo, exhaling slowly and rubbing at his wrist. "You don't need to hide how you feel, anija....Jesse is....unobservant. But he likes you. I can tell."

Hanzo rolls his eyes, although his heart skips a beat in his chest. "Oh? And how can you 'tell'?"

"I've spent a lot of time with him in the past, Hanzo. I can read him like a book. Hell, you don't realize how often he tries to impress you."

Hanzo grips his pants tightly, staring into his lap as he feels his cheeks begin to flush at the thought. "Genji, I....I can't get attached."

"Why not? You're safe here, in Overwatch. You deserve to be happy. God knows you need it." Genji leans back against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest. "You've been happier. Happier than I've seen you in a long time."

"I don't know what you're talking about...."

Genji chuckles softly, shaking his head. "You try so hard to act tough. I know you try to avoid feeling....Don't. I tried it for a while, and....I'd hate to see you as....empty as I once was." He rises, placing a hand on his brother's shoulder. "Be happy, Hanzo. Be happy with him."

Hanzo watches his brother walk away, then exhales slowly as he pushes himself to his feet, slowly opening the door to the med bay. "Doctor....?"

Angela looks up from her sink, where she finishes washing her hands and dries them off. Her coat is covered in blood; Jesse's blood.

"H-how is he?"

Angela looks towards McCree, who sleeps on the bed, hooked up to an oxygen tank. His bloodied shirt is missing, the cowboy now shirtless with a bandage wrapped around his gut. "I've done all I can do, Hanzo....The rest is on him."

Hanzo clenches his fists at his sides, his eyes staying on the cowboy. "Are you saying....he might not make it?"

The doctor is silent, and when she speaks again, her voice comes out broken, her blue eyes glistening. "It....doesn't look good."

His breath trembles in his chest as he feels lightheaded. Hanzo grips onto the counter beside him, breathing heavily as he tries to get over the wave of nausea flooding over him. All he can manage to whimper out is a soft "No...." as he walks slowly to Jesse's bed. He looked so peaceful; if it wasn't for the tubes surrounding him, he would look like he was sleeping soundly.

"You idiot....You should have been watching your own back, not mine...." Hanzo pulls a chair beside Jesse's bed, his fingers running along the smooth metal of the cowboy's left arm as he sits down. He intertwines their fingers, pushing his lips to Jesse's knuckles and kissing them.

"A-aww....y-you gettin' soft on me....?"

Hanzo looks up as Jesse coughs weakly, who groans softly in pain before smiling over to the archer. "J-Jesse....how do you feel?"

McCree rubs his thumb over Hanzo's fingers, sighing softly. "Not good...." He shifts, sucking in a sharp breath that falls into a shaky whimper. "You came to visit me...."

"Of course, you idiot....Had to make sure you wouldn't die on me. I need someone to make me coffee in the morning." Hanzo gives him a playful smirk, squeezing his hand.

Jesse tries to laugh but only coughs, his voice coming out weaker....fading. "Y'know....I thought I was dead....until I heard your voice, Sunshine...." A tired smile comes to his paled face, and Hanzo feels a sharp pain in his chest.

"Don't talk like that....You need rest. That's all...."

Jesse gives a small nod, shutting his eyes, his hand gradually growing limp in Hanzo's. The Shimada sighs softly as he leans over, kissing McCree's forehead before rising from his seat. He says his thanks to Angela and leaves, finding his way back to the room him and Jesse shared, and curling up on the bed, hugging Jesse's pillow to his chest.

He's going to be fine, Hanzo thought. He's got to be.


	10. The Recovery

Jesse made it through. Angela had no idea how; the shot he received was a fatal one, and she was sure that she had only been able to prolong an inevitable death. But he fulled through, and Hanzo couldn't be happier.

Hanzo helps Jesse to their room before lying him down on the bed, covering him with the blankets and glaring down at him. Jesse looks taken aback, holding his hands up defensively.

"What'd I do?!"

Hanzo clenches his hands into tight fists, his knuckles turning white. "You're a fucking idiot, McCree...."

Jesse scoffs, ready to retort when he sees the tears streaming down Hanzo's cheeks. "Hanzo....?"

Hanzo sniffles, his voice rising. "You scared me, Jesse!! I thought I lost you!!"

McCree slowly and carefully pushes himself up so he's sitting upright, his features softening. "Hey, don't cry....I'm sorry...."

"'Sorry'?! Angela was sure you were dead, Jesse!! Do you....can you even comprehend how much that hurt me?!"

Jesse frowns, reaching out for Hanzo's hand. "I-I'm sorry, sweetheart....I-I didn't know you....cared so much..."

Hanzo pulls from Jesse and punches him hard in the arm, sobbing. "Of course I care, you dumb cowboy!! I care a lot!!"

McCree winces as he rubs his bicep, looking Hanzo over before grabbing him by his wrist, carefully pulling him closer. "Hey, c'mon....I'm okay....See?"

Hanzo's first instinct is to pull away, but he lets Jesse pull him close as angry tears drip onto the blankets of the bed. "You scared me, Jesse...."

"I know, I know....I'm sorry for that...." Jesse wraps an arm around Hanzo, pulling him down and beside him on the bed. He hugs Hanzo close, his face pushed against the archer's neck. Hanzo tenses for a moment at the gesture, then melts into the hug with a sniff, his hands rubbing between McCree's bare shoulder blades. "I'll be more careful....I promise...."

Hanzo pulls back and rubs the tears from his face, sighing. "You better....Idiot."

Jesse caresses Hanzo's cheek, his thumb flicking away the leftover tears. "Will ya stop callin' me an idiot?" He leans in close, pushing their foreheads together as he smiles.

"Only when you stop being a fool, Jess...."

Jesse's voice comes out as a low murmur, his warm breath ghosting over Hanzo's lips. "I am a fool, ain't I....?"

Before Hanzo could reply, Jesse closes the distance between them, kissing him sweetly and tenderly. Hanzo eagerly kisses back, cupping the cowboy's face in his hands as he exhales in bliss. They pull from each other, and Jesse chuckles softly, gazing into Hanzo's amber eyes.

"I was sure you were gonna slap me for that...."

Hanzo's fair cheeks flush as he avoids the loving gaze, his heart fluttering in his chest. "You're so dumb...."

Jesse gently rubs Hanzo's thigh, sighing as he forms his words. "Thanks....for bein' by my side....I don't think I could have pulled through if it weren't for you...."

Hanzo lets out a short snort, raising an eyebrow. "Nonsense, Dr. Ziegler's work is what saved you."

Jesse looks up before laying his head on Hanzo's shoulder, his hand rubbing the archer's lower back as he murmurs. "You were the reason I held on...."

"J-Jesse....you must be delirious...."

"I mean it....Ain't no one gets me feelin' this way....not like you do....you're different, Hanzo...."

Hanzo lets out a shaky exhale as he feels Jesse's lips against the skin of his neck. "I'm not that special, McCree...."

"To me, you are...."

Hanzo pushes his fingers through Jesse's hair, a small smile coming to his lips. "We need rest. Until you get better, you can have the bed, I suppose."

"No....I wanna sleep next to ya....Let's sleep on the floor since the bed's kinda small...."

Hanzo stutters, then nods, clearing his throat. "I....would really like that...." He rises from the bed, and after having to bark at McCree to stay put and take it easy, he sets up a makeshift bed on the floor out of blankets and pillows, big enough for the both of them. He helps Jesse from the bed and lays down beside him, gasping as McCree wraps his arms around the archer and hugs him close.

"This okay, hun?"

Hanzo nods, laying his head on McCree's chest, his hand rubbing his abs just above his healing wound. "Of course...."

Jesse unties Hanzo's hair from its tight bun, smiling at him as the black and silver hair is freed. "You look so cute with your hair down....You should do it more often...."

Hanzo nuzzles against him, chuckling. Any other time with anyone else, he would snap and insist his hair stayed up and stayed untouched, but with Jesse, he only smiled. "Maybe I will, cowboy...."


	11. The Love

Hanzo wakes up before Jesse and he pushes himself up, groaning at the stiffness in his bones from sleeping on the floor. He smiles down at the cowboy, grateful that he didn't lose him. He curls a strand of the cowboy's hair around his finger, looking at how messy his brunette hair was and snickering. The sound seems to make up McCree, who inhales slowly and yawns, rubbing his eyes before grinning at Hanzo.

"Well, ain't this a nice sight to wake up to."

Hanzo rolls his eyes, giving his hair a playful tug. "Don't be so damn cheesy."

"Well ya don't gotta pull my hair...." Jesse feigns a pout, then pulls Hanzo in for a deep kiss, wrapping his arms around the archer. Hanzo lets out a groan of surprise before kissing back, rubbing McCree's shoulders. As the kiss grows more heated, Jesse shifts so he lays on top of Hanzo, his hips pushing against the other male's.

Hanzo groans against his lips then breaks his kiss, panting softly. "What do you think you're doing, cowboy?"

Jesse grins, pushing the fabric of Hanzo's top off of his shoulder and kissing at his chest. "What's it look like....?"

Hanzo leans his head back against the pillows, exhaling as he massages Jesse's scalp, eyes fluttering shut. "We just woke up...."

"And?" Jesse looms over Hanzo, a dumb grin on his face as he gazes down at him.

Hanzo huffs and hooks a leg around the cowboy, pulling their bodies closer as he grins back. "Fine, cowboy."

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The two men pant and lay against the floor, their bodies coated in sweat as they catch their breath. Jesse pushes his fingers through his hair, letting out a breathless laugh.

"Best mornin' I've had in a long time, darlin'."

Hanzo props himself up on one elbow, scoffing. "Do you really have to be such a perv?"

"You didn't seem to mind a few minutes ago~"

Hanzo groans and pushes himself up, wincing softly.

"What? Been a while?" Jesse sits up as well, smirking at Hanzo and rubbing his hand over the archer's tattooed bicep.

"If you must know, yes....You're my first in a long time."

Jesse grabs a cigar with a smug grin, lighting it and taking a deep inhale of the smoke and exhaling it off to the side. "Well, ain't that flatterin'?"

Hanzo gazes down into his lap, his hands fidgeting as he gnaws at his lips. "I really like you, Jesse...."

Jesse hands the cigar to him, watching as Hanzo takes a drag off of it slowly. "Well....I love you, Han....I ain't gonna be shy about it...."

Hanzo's head snaps in McCree's direction and his eyes widen in shock, his fingers nearly letting go of the cigar. "Y-you....what?"

Jesse shrugs, rubbing at his arm where the metal meets flesh. "Well....I love ya. Have for a while. At first, I thought you were just cute....but spendin' time with ya, and....havin' ya by my side....It really made me realize how much I care about ya."

Hanzo stammers, shifting so he faces McCree. "J-Jesse....you really shouldn't....I'm not a good person....You know what happened between me and my brother, so why....?"

"Because I ain't no angel either....I know what it's like to feel....trapped. I ain't a good person either, Hanzo....I've done things I ain't proud of. But that doesn't mean I don't deserve anythin' good. I'm better now...." Jesse takes Hanzo's hands in his, gazing into his eyes. "And so are you. You and I are one and the same, darlin'. Sure, we got our differences, but....I really feel like....we're good for each other."

Hanzo scans Jesse's features for any signs that he was making any of that up, but finds none. He lets out a sob of relief, hugging onto his cowboy tightly. "Jesse....I-I love you too....I was just scared....But nearly losing you, I was worried I'd never get to tell you...."

"Well, we got each other now....I ain't goin' nowhere." Jesse places a soft kiss on Hanzo's forehead. "I'm gonna be here for ya for a long time....You ain't gonna get rid of me."

Hanzo laughs, his heart feeling lighter than it ever has as he hugs onto his lover, wiping his tears off on the cowboy's tan skin. "Thank you....Jesse...."

"Of course, honey....Anythin' for you...."

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

If only it had gone that way.


	12. The Reality // Beautiful Trauma

"It....doesn't look good."

His breath trembles in his chest as he feels lightheaded. Hanzo grips onto the counter beside him, breathing heavily as he tries to get over the wave of nausea flooding over him. All he can manage to whimper out is a soft "No...." as he walks slowly to Jesse's bed. He looked so peaceful; if it wasn't for the tubes surrounding him, he would look like he was sleeping soundly.

"You idiot....You should have been watching your own back, not mine...." Hanzo pulls a chair beside Jesse's bed, his fingers running along the smooth metal of the cowboy's left arm as he sits down. He intertwines their fingers, pushing his lips to Jesse's knuckles and kissing them.

"A-aww....y-you gettin' soft on me....?"

Hanzo looks up as Jesse coughs weakly, who groans softly in pain before smiling over to the archer. "J-Jesse....how do you feel?"

McCree rubs his thumb over Hanzo's fingers, sighing softly. "Not good...." He shifts, sucking in a sharp breath that falls into a shaky whimper. "You came to visit me...."

"Of course, you idiot....Had to make sure you wouldn't die on me. I need someone to make me coffee in the morning." Hanzo gives him a playful smirk, squeezing his hand.

Jesse tries to laugh but only coughs, his voice coming out weaker....fading. "Y'know....I thought I was dead....until I heard your voice, Sunshine...." A tired smile comes to his paled face, and Hanzo feels a sharp pain in his chest.

"Don't talk like that....You need rest. That's all...."

Jesse gives a small nod, shutting his eyes, his hand gradually growing limp in Hanzo's. The Shimada sighs softly as he leans over, kissing McCree's forehead before rising from his seat.

Just as he was ready to leave so Jesse could rest, the room fills with the steady tone coming from the EKG that Jesse was hooked up to. Hanzo freezes in terror, and he feels his heart plummet in his chest.

"J-Jesse....?" There's no response. Hanzo begins to shake Jesse, gently at first, but as his desperation builds, he shakes more violently, sobbing out his name over and over. "Jesse!! JESSE! Wake up!!" He looks around helplessly, whimpering as the sound of the flat-line fills his head. "D-Doctor!" His voice comes out hoarse, his throat dry and scratchy. "Doctor!! Someone, help!! H-He's not waking up!!"

Angela rushes in, panic on her face as she pushes Hanzo out of the way and starts chest compressions on Jesse, murmuring in her native tongue. She lays her head on his chest, listening for any sign of life, then continues the compressions, repeating the process over and over for what seems to be an eternity.

Hanzo holds his hands over his mouth, trying to muffle his sobs as his whispers. "Jesse, please....Don't do this...."

After a couple minutes, Angela starts to slow, her shoulders slumping in defeat. The monotonous trill of the EKG continues, and Jesse lies still. She bites her lips, hanging her head and pushing her slender fingers through her hair. "I'm....I'm sorry...."

Hanzo shakes his head, going back to Jesse's side and hugging onto him, holding his head to hsi chest. "He's going to be okay! He has to be!!" He sobs, his fingers clutching at the soft, brunette hair of the cowboy. "Wake up...Don't leave me....Just wake up, Jess....Please...."

Angela turns off the EKG and the machines McCree was hooked up to, trying to hold back the tears that were already falling down her cheeks. "He's gone...."

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Hanzo sits in the room that they had shared, his eyes rimmed red and raw from tears as he thought about what could have happened. If only he had kept a closer eye on Jesse. If only he was more careful. He hugs the cowboy's hat to his chest, Jesse's serape draped over his shoulders. Hanzo swore that Jesse never washed the worn fabric of the serape; it smelled of dirt and sweat, with the faded scent of the cheap cologne and aftershave Jesse always used. It was almost as if he was still there with him, wrapped around him.

"I....never got to tell you...."

He had gone to the funeral; everyone was there, and everyone had tears in their eyes for their fallen comrade. Even the monkey cried. Hanzo rubs his thumb over the bullets attached to the brim of his hat, his eyes landing on the ridiculous BAMF belt he would always wear. Jesse was always so ridiculous; he was spontaneous and clumsy, and often not very bright. But he was the man Hanzo had fallen for. His first love, and his last.

"Selfish cowboy...." Hanzo lets out a sad laugh, his tears dripping onto the hat he cradled in his arms. "I was finally happy....and you took that away...." He squeezes the hat, hanging his head with heartbroken sobs. "B-Because I was a second too late....I couldn't....couldn't protect you...."

Genji constantly checked up on him, making sure he was okay, which he wasn't. His one happiness, the one light in his life, was taken away from him. As quickly as Jesse entered his life, he left it. Hanzo knew he would never love someone again. Jesse was the one for him. The only one.

"Just....let this be a bad dream....Just come back to me...." Hanzo looks around the room, as if he expected a reply, but received none except the silence of his surroundings. "Heh....so....you're really gone...." He looks down at the pill bottle in his lap.

Quick and easy. While Jesse had suffered. It was wrong, Hanzo knew it. But there was nothing for him anymore. All he wanted was to see that dumb smile, to hear the jingling of his dumb spurs, to hear his beautiful, deep voice coo out his name. But he would never get that again. Hanzo begins to feel weak; he was having a hard time just keeping his eyes open. They were kicking in. He lays down against the bed, the hat still in his arms, as his eyes flutter shut. And they never opened again. In the morning, Genji would find his brother had passed in his sleep, but at least he would be with Jesse again. And all that was on the note on the bedside was this:

"The pill I keep taking,  
The nightmare I'm waking,  
There's nothing but you,  
My perfect rock bottom,  
My beautiful trauma."


End file.
